Are you feeling burned out?
I remember when the kids were all so busy and every day felt like a whirlwind of just trying to keep up, like you are being pulled in all different directions at once. Can you relate to feeling like that?
Getting through the day was just ticking off all the boxes on the list.
I would feel satisfied if I got through the list, but yet I felt so empty.
I remember feeling like I was just there to facilitate everyone else's needs. Getting kids to and from school and sports and don't forget the snacks. One of the kids has a dentist appointment and I need to find time to pick up a birthday gift for the other child to take to a party this weekend. Oh ya, and everyone needs to eat and have clean clothes.
I really felt so disassociated with my life.
Everyone needs to feel connected, that sense of home and belonging. We need it and our kids need it. Today's time is so hustle and bustle that we can get off track and when mom is off track the whole family is off track.
Our kids can start to struggle; you may not notice it at first.
Kids are good at pushing things down, staying quiet about things that bother them and not saying anything. We think they are too caught up in their own worlds to notice but they do. Even when they seem to want to be anywhere but home, they still need home to be a strong place of connection.
It often seems like our tweens and teens don't want anything to do with us but I assure you they still need you and need to feel that love and connection from us. They so desperately want to fly on their own but still need that safe home base to come back to.
If your child is starting to struggle with their mental health, it's even more important that they need to feel a connection with you.
I'm going to say the hard thing, as a parent we need to be the bigger person. I know it can be so hard, especially with a teen that is combative and causing turmoil in the home. It can quickly become a power struggle and as the parent we have been conditioned not to back down.
When my son and I were in the thick of his mental health issues I heard a lot of advice about tough love, setting boundaries, not backing down, my house my rules kind of stuff. People telling me they knew friends that had kicked out their kids and not seen them in years. I can't even imagine that.
We started looking at ways to help him and you may have seen other newsletters from me where I tell the story about working on his gut health. Nutritional deficiencies and poor gut health were huge contributors to his deteriorating mental health. When we were able to heal his gut issues and get to better physical health, his mental health started to heal as well.
But this email is more about preserving the connection between you and your child. Getting back to a good foundation, a home base where you and your child feel loved and safe.
As parents we don't always have to be right to win.
When I started to truly listen to my son and see him for the amazing person he is even if it's not the person I thought he would be, the walls started to come down. Believe me there were a lot of tears involved but what a humbling thing to apologize to your child for the hurt that they are carrying with them.
Parents are not perfect people we are learning as we go. I can say I love my kids with all my heart and would do absolutely anything for them. The best thing I did for my son was to validate his feelings even if I didn't directly cause the hurt. He was holding onto emotional pain from his childhood and he needed to be heard.
One thing I learned during this time that really stood out for me was that anger is always a secondary emotion. It comes from some other feeling like feeling hurt, scared or frustrated. This really helped me to see where his anger may have been coming from at the time.
Anger is a secondary emotion.
There seems to be a lot of "labeling" or "diagnosing" going on these days like something in our kids is defective, I truly don't believe this in most cases.
Our kids are struggling, that's for sure. All the statistics say that the rate of ADHD, autism, anxiety and depression are over the top. One third of all school age kids are on medications for mood or behavior. And the rate of teen violence is on the rise. But when we except a diagnosis like it is a personality trait that cannot be changed, we lose and our kids lose.
I do think there are many reasons for the increase in these changes in our kids. Lack of nutrition in our diet leads to poor gut health and deficiencies that directly affect mood and behavior. Also, toxins that we are all exposed to can cause unwanted health issues. Our current social environment is also a factor. The stress put on our younger generations is nothing like we have seen before.
And let's not forget that parents are under more pressure too.
Life coaching and health coaching are becoming more common place. Coaching is more about looking into the future than examining the past. What do you want that future to look like and how can you get there? As human beings we have an amazing amount of power to heal and transform our lives.
I felt the need to write this today in case you or someone you know is struggling. If you need help getting back to feeling connected or helping your child to feel more connected to you and the family, coaching may be just what you need.
If you are a mom that is feeling exhausted and torn into too many pieces, you need this. You need help to get to your best self and help to get your family back on track.
I help the moms that are at a loss on how to help their struggling child.
I want to help you put yourself and your family back together.
I'm here for your transformation.
Click the button below to schedule a free consultation with me. Or simply reply to this email.
If you know someone who may need to hear this information today, please pass it on, it could be the thing that changes everything.
Thank you,
Tracy Doyle Wellness
